We all know that person. That person who criticizes themselves a little too much. They constantly point out their shortcomings. They apologize profusely for the tiniest mistake. And they are exhausting to be around. Don't let that be you. Here are 3 reasons you shouldn't be self-deprecating:
1. IT'S ANNOYING
Self-deprecators put an uncomfortable burden on the people around them. While no one minds offering the occasional comfort to a friend, chronic self-deprecators are draining. They are emotional parasites living on the encouragement and reassurance of others. If you engage in repeated self-deprecation, your friends will eventually tire of the maintenance you require from them. They might not admit it, but they will begin to be annoyed with you. They may try to be there for you, but they will consciously or subconsciously begin to distance themselves and avoid you. In short, you'll lose your friends. Don't be self-deprecating.
2. IT DOESN'T SERVE YOU
Self-deprecation won't just ruin friendships, it will blow up your professional life too. Talk yourself down enough and people will start to believe you. If you're always drawing attention to your mistakes, people will think of you as incompetent and unreliable. They will think, "If they don't believe in themself, why should I?" Ironically, sometimes the worst self-deprecators are also extremely defensive because the truth of their failure is shattering. Self-deprecation and defensiveness: a deadly cocktail if there ever was one. Never engage in this behavior. You will utterly destroy your relationships with your colleagues as they will resent and hate you. In short, you'll probably lose your job. Don't be self-deprecating.
3. IT CREATES A BAD CYCLE
Compulsive behaviors are reinforcing. Giving into a desire to seek reassurance through self-deprecation does not diminish that desire; it amplifies it. Each instance of self-deprecation strengthens a nasty habit. This is an itch that can never be scratched because no amount of reassurance will ever be enough to satisfy a need to feel better about oneself. In short, you'll only make it worse. Don't be self-deprecating.
Sometimes, a sincere apology for a mistake is appropriate, but it is best to focus on what needs to be done rather than on how something makes you look or feel. The best way to deal with feelings of guilt or embarrassment is to take action to correct the situation. Only then can a feeling of pride and competence return. Even if it doesn't work out perfectly, just the knowledge of having done everything you could will do wonders for your self-image.
In summary: Don't be self-deprecating. Just shut up and fix it.